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| Pam Houston (via) |
Wilder: As a person who grew up in the East and now is very associated with the West, do you see yourself now as a westerner?
Houston: No, no. I think I’ll always feel like someone who grew up in New Jersey. And I don’t mind that. In fact, I see myself very much as someone who fell in love with the West who grew up in New Jersey. That seems to me like a particular subcategory. The West is my home. I hope never to live back East, though there are places back East that I love to visit. Even the difference between California, where I teach, and Colorado, where I live—when I get off the plane in Colorado, my whole body relaxes. Like there’s something about this region and the color of the air here and the sky, the Rocky Mountain region, which absolutely feels like home in a way that I never imagined anywhere could feel like home. Because I never had that feeling of home as a child. But do I feel like a westerner? No. I feel like someone who loves where they live and who feels like they come home when I come to the West.
Wilder: Some people would say—not to embarrass you—that you are a major western woman figure. People view you as this sort of ideal, maybe idealized version of this symbol of western women. Is that a great responsibility, or is that something you just don’t think about?
Houston: People want me to be a certain way. They want me to be brave. That’s the biggest thing. They want me to be a river guide forever. They want me to be the woman who didn’t have kids and can leap onto a bucking bronco. And I have never been that woman. I was a river guide. I was never brave. I was good at it. But I was never not afraid. I feel like in my work I’m trying to be absolutely as honest as I can be, in fiction or in nonfiction. I don’t mean like tell the exact truth of my experience. I mean I’m trying to get at some kind of essential truth about what it means for me to be alive. So I don’t feel like I’m misleading people about my bravery. God knows. I read even those early stories and Cowboys and I think, this woman was scared to death. So in a way, the western thing is the same. It’s like, sure, I write about the West. I think I wrote well about the West. I think I found my voice here. If I were a westerner, if I had been born here, I might not have even seen it. And I’m so much a person who came here and let the West blow my mind. Which is because I grew up in suburban Pennsylvania, and that’s a big part of the puzzle. Without that step, I might write about the West in a completely different way.
What do you think? Who "owns" the West? Do you resent outsiders coming in and taking over your experience? Or are you okay with that? Or maybe you moved away and that gave you enough distance to write about it? Or are you someone who moved to the West from another place and loves it with all your heart? What makes Western writing "authentic"?
The West, like any other place, is open to the interpretation of its inhabitants and visitors. I was born into the 1960's S. California of beaches, surfing, renaissance fairs and theme parks. Walnuts, oranges and avocados right from the tree. But this was never the West I wanted to inhabit. My West was - and still is - the place where you can taste and smell the bygone history. Almost experience it vicariously through the energy that still lingers in those places.
ReplyDeleteI am a Westerner who has landed in many other Westerner's places. The resentment by some has been palpable. I think "complacent" (if I may be so judgmental) people do feel threatened when a newcomer arrives. It challenges their own vision of their place. Many will come to look at their place through new eyes. The layers of a place are many, especially in the West. It's all authentic to me, especially when it is written down.
Isn't that so true! For many, the West is a blank slate on which they project all their hopes and dreams, and also history lays heavy over it.
ReplyDeleteYes, I wish it wasn't that way - people being suspicious of "outsiders." I've always thought that you own your own experiences and hence have ownership to write about them.
Good points all, Nicole! Thank you so much for stopping by.